The workplace is a special place in certain ways, because the people we
interact with are not of our choosing most of the time, and relating to them
isn’t the same as relating to family and friends. On the other hand, it’s not so
unique that being good at relationship doesn’t help. Keeping peace in the office
is achievable by raising your awareness to the level where peace is something
you value and want to nurture.
Here are seven tips for becoming a unit of peace wherever you work.
1. Don’t be a stressor for other
people.
Peace begins by dedicating yourself to being part of the solution rather than
part of the problem. Most of the stress in any workplace is caused by people
rather than the external situation. Don’t add to the stress by doing the things
that provoke stress. These include joining cliques, gossiping, taking sides in
office politics, and stirring the pot when there is tension in the air. Avoid
all of them.
2. Examine your behavior in light of how it
affects others.
The behavior that creates discord and distress in any situation also applies
in the office. Look at yourself and be honest about any tendency to be demanding
or a perfectionist, to criticize others in public, and to push to get your own
way. Even if you are in a position of authority, these are negative behaviors
that diminish productivity as well as injure your relationship with the people
around you.
3. Keep lines of communication
open.
It never works to isolate yourself. When there is lack of communication,
people feel neglected and ignored. As we all know, being given the silent
treatment isn’t neutral. It always feels as if we’re being judged. You don’t
need to use gossip or complaints as a form of communication—they are just a form
of venting, not true communication. The emphasis should be on appreciating
others, offering mutual support, and being a good listener.
4. Establish trust and
loyalty.
The higher your position in the workplace, the more you need to be trusted.
Feeling loyalty from above is one of the primary needs that workers report,
along with feeling that their jobs are secure. Trust means that you follow
through with your decisions, keep your word, don’t play favorites, and take
responsibility for your own missteps rather than blaming others.
5. Be aware of other people’s
needs.
No two people are exactly alike, and yet we share common needs. Besides
safety and security, which is basic in any situation, the workplace brings up
the need to accomplish and be rewarded fairly, the need to be heard, and the
need to be valued. Unless these are met, anyone will feel under-valued. But
there is also a higher need to feel creative and to be called upon for what
you’re good at. Do what you can to notice which of these needs are not being
fulfilled—either for yourself or others—and do what you can to improve the
situation.
6. Turn empathy into
bonding.
It’s natural to sympathize when someone else is in trouble, but people often
shy away from turning their sense of empathy into action. When we activate
empathy, we create an emotional bond with someone else. This doesn’t have to be
in times of trouble. Nor do you
have to fear that you will be entangled in someone else’s personal issues.
It’s a delicate matter to form bonds in the workplace, and sexual overtones are
unwelcome, so being reluctant to treat others with personal attention is
understandable. Begin by bonding with someone on a safe plane, such as
appreciating their work and encouraging them to tell you their hidden
aspirations and creative ideas. Once you form trust at this level, let the bond
between you grow stronger naturally.
7. Be the change you want to
see.
This is a famous saying of Gandhi’s that applies in every part of life.
Trying to change others doesn’t work. If you encounter resistance when seeking
change, you’ve met the resistance that inertia always causes. But if you
exemplify the change you want to see, the people who also want to change will be
attracted to you, and if there are enough of you, a movement has been created.
Once caution: If your desire for change is motivated by anger, step back and
take a second look. In your desire to be a lighthouse, are you risking becoming
a lightning rod? Few people can stir up anger and come away unscathed. If your
workplace is totally uncomfortable and unfair from your perspective, a change of
work is probably your best recourse.
A laundry list of tips won’t bring peace to your workplace until you start
acting on them. Adopt one tip that appeals to you and try it out, cautiously at
first. The whole point is that you can feel in control far more by acting on
your highest intentions than by sitting around passively putting up with a
deteriorating situation. Being a unit of peace brings inner satisfaction of a special kind;
you deserve to experience it for yourself.
Deepak Chopra MD, FACP,
founder of The Chopra Foundation and co-founder of The Chopra Center for
Wellbeing, is a world-renowned pioneer in integrative medicine and personal
transformation, and is Board Certified in Internal Medicine, Endocrinology and
Metabolism. He is a Fellow of the American College of Physicians and a member of
the American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists. Chopra is the author of
more than 80 books translated into over 43 languages, including numerous New
York Times bestsellers. His latest books are Super Genes co-authored with
Rudolph Tanzi, PhD and Quantum Healing (Revised and Updated): Exploring the
Frontiers of Mind/Body Medicine. www.deepakchopra.com
